Shit-Disturbing Numerology
Let's give love and light a kick in the arse
Disclaimer: why do I feel the need to tell you that I wrote this? I spent all afternoon and into this evening writing this, but the AI checker that Substack installed thinks it’s only 12% human-written. I give up. Moving 100% to Bearblog is starting to look really fucking attractive today.
I’m in the process of deprogramming myself from all the White Lady Life Coach nurturing container crapulence that I paid for, and part of that involves no longer forcing myself to write about anyone’s pain points because it felt awkward and just plain dumb. I’m just going to enjoy myself and do what I do best: write about what I want to write about and push the red button in the process.
Shit-disturbing numbers and shit-disturbing Tarot are something that I have wanted to write about for a long time because fuck all this love and light garbage and fuck all this sappy-sweet align-your-blueprint crapulence. At the core of our very horrid little hearts, in each and every one of us lurks an arsehole that loves to grab the spoon and give that pot a great big ol’ stir.
Aaaah….relief. This is the series I WANT to write, straight from my evil little mind to yours. The Tarot readings that go with, need to be tested, and I’ve already done a handful of test readings on prominent Canadian and US political figures. I thought I would start sharing them in daily posts.
To kick things off, let’s reframe the numbers:
1/Sun — The Self That Will Not Be Ignored
The 1 shit-disturbs by refusing to remain wherever it’s been put. You can’t put Baby in a corner; I invite you to try. The shit-disturbing 1/Sun vibration says the thing that’s on its mind, pushes everyone out of the way to take the lead, claims supremacy, doesn’t wait for any sort of consensus or validation, and then behaves as though permission has already been granted. By the universe, no less.
Its shit-disturbing superpower is individuation: proving that another path is possible by being the first to walk it. The 1/Sun shit-disturber breaks dependency, conformity and stale leadership, and shines a bright light on everything. It can inspire other people to stop waiting for approval, usually by pissing them off…which sets them free.
Its shadow malarkey is pure and utter self-centredness. The 1 vibration can turn every disagreement into a 1-lead referendum on its own shining importance, interpreting all forms of resistance as jealousy, and confusing being the loudest person in the room with being the rightful leader.
2/Moon — The Emotional Manipulator
The 2 vibration rarely shows up as an attack on any structure directly. This number force changes the emotional atmosphere around it. It notices every blessed little thing, who’s with who, who’s giving who the cold shoulder, who is being loyal, who is showing weak spots, who’s kissing ass, and all the unspoken resentments and little nasties that sit just below the surface of everyone’s well-trained smiles and platitudes—and the 2/Moon knows that one carefully played conversation can destabilize the entire group dynamic.
Its shit-disturbing superpower is emotional recognition. The 2/Moon vibration gives poetic and sometimes dramatic language to what people are feeling but have not expressed. It also does a delightfully evil job of revealing the hidden emotional or social costs that might be tucked away behind seemingly practical or mainstream choices.
Its shadow malarkey is indirect warfare: those meaningful and frosty silences, the sharing of specific fears, personal flaws, or past traumas as a calculated tactic to fake a bitch out and gain the upper hand, subtly shifting alliances, or plausible deniability. The 2/Moon shit-disturber may insist that nothing is wrong while low-key stirring the pot and creating all the stormy weather in the room.
3/Jupiter — The Magnanimous Amplifier
The 3/Jupiter vibration makes everything it touches larger: a blog post suddenly turns into a book, an audience triples in size, the joke starts out funny and then goes way over the top, the moral argument becomes a glass-and-ivory skyscraper, and a little oublié becomes an international scandal overnight. It shit-disturbs through speeches, holding court, publishing, humour, philosophy and bombastic overstatement.
Its shit-disturbing superpower is expanding minds. This vibration questions narrow doctrines and intellectual gatekeeping by repeating every complexity it has ever learned to anyone who will listen — and, regardless of whether they are ready for it, cracking their worldview wide open, inserting a little insurgency, and introducing possibilities that the establishment dismisses as absolute balderdash.
Its shadow malarkey is grandiosity of the highest order. The 3/Jupiter vibration can preach at you rather than talk to you — much like your bombastic Republican uncle at Thanksgiving, turning an opinion into a universal law and assuming that dominating the conversation and being wordier than thou is proof of their superior evidence. The 3/Jupiter vibration may also reflect making a situation bigger and bigger (until it spirals completely out of control) because bigger is more entertaining — until it’s not.
4/Rahu — The Viral Outsider
The 4/Rahu vibration enters silently through the side door that you forgot to lock. As a number vibration, it reflects someone who studies how the system works so they can figure out how to manipulate it better than the people who built it. Rahu tweaks the ambition of the 4 vibration, making it into a shit-disturbing little aperitif that can stimulate an appetite for ambition and control, toying with unconventional ideas and whatever has been made forbidden or off-limits.
Its shit-disturbing superpower is breaking through socially constructed mental containers and other limitations that only have power because we all uphold them. The 4/Rahu vibration challenges all the inherited rules we inherit, gives a finger to “because that’s just how we do it here”, saunters right on by gatekeepers as they process what just happened, and finds opportunities in places “respectable people” refuse to explore. It drags what is suppressed or taboo into public view so that everyone can see a thing for exactly what it is.
Its shadow malarkey is cultivating obsessions, creating spectacles, and intentionally warping information, facts, or plans to serve a specific goal, gain approval, or game a system. This number force also likes to shit-disturb by manufacturing authority, crossing boundaries, exploiting loopholes or purposely growing controversy because notoriety is still a form of power. This vibration also reflects incorporating accusations into its branding or publicity.
5/Mercury — The Trickster Correspondent
The 5/Mercury vibration thrives as a messenger, comedian, interrogator and dealer in inconvenient information. This vibration shit-disturbs by asking questions, carefully changing the language around things, comparing stories, and then sending the screenshot to precisely the correct person. “Ooops, I’m so sorry, I meant to send that to so and so!”
Its shit-disturbing superpower is intellectual mobility. The 5/Mercury vibration exposes contradictions, absolutely riddles inflated claims full of bullet holes, and is always there to prevent ideas from becoming entrenched. It can translate forbidden knowledge into language ordinary people understand and play the trickster, handing out light to anyone brave enough to step up and grasp it, whether they should have it or not.
Its shadow malarkey is handing out information without responsibility: gossip, assisting with avoiding tasks or discussions that are necessary or difficult, intentionally using vague language or stances to avoid conflict or keep options open, and feeding arguments primarily for the mental warm fuzzies.
6/Venus — The Social Heretic
The 6 vibration shit-disturbs through love, attraction, obligation, and the politics of belonging. This vibration plants seeds that make you question who is considered desirable, respectable, talented, welcome or worthy of care. The mere preference of 6/Venus can create the desire to rearrange an entire social hierarchy. A line in Santana’s hit Smooth comes to mind: I could change my life to better suit your mood
Its shit-disturbing superpower is the revaluation of everything. The 6/Venus vibration exposes hypocrisy in relationships, challenges the performance of loveless duties and insists that pleasure, fairness and beauty can all be monetized. It can disrupt family or community harmony because, more often than not, the pleasantry that we experience rests on someone’s unpaid labour or silence.
Its shadow malarkey is social power that has been expertly styled as good manners, helpfulness, or concern. The 6 vibration can seduce, exclude, withhold approval and cultivate triangles of all sorts while maintaining that it only wants everyone to get along.
7/Ketu — The Quiet Refusenik
The 7/Ketu vibration shit-disturbs by withdrawing belief, attention and participation in a thing. Ketu looks at the performance that brings everyone else to their knees, and sees all the wires and trapdoors, and the person operating the giant wizard mask. The 7/Ketu number force is reflected in the one who watches the display quietly, looks for the Achilles heel, and takes aim. As the machine falls apart and crisis begins, they melt into the background, leaving as quietly as they came.
The 7/Ketu vibration’s shit-disturbing superpower is disenchantment. It severs attachments, breaks all enchantments, and reveals how much of the system depends upon people continuing to believe in it. It walks you into a three-walled mental room with questions before toying with you one more time to either close the prison gates or bust down the walls it just built, breaking your brain in the process. The 7/Ketu vibration may not be the force that overthrows the institution. It simply stops feeding it—and often creates the crisis point that inspires others to do the same.
Its shadow malarkey is creating the psychological or social state where someone can feel isolated or estranged from others due to the illusory perception that they are somehow intellectually, morally, or existentially superior. The 7 vibration can dismiss ordinary human needs, disappear without explanation and treat their detachment as proof of spiritual advancement or betterment. Sometimes 7/Ketu truly has transcended the shenanigans and messiness of existence, and sometimes it has merely ghosted everyone.
8/Saturn — The Consequence Department
The 8/Saturn vibration does not generally engage in shit-disturbing by creating random chaos. It thrives in revealing where consequences have been put on the back burner until just the right moment. 8/Saturn brings time, hierarchies, power, and accountability, accessorized with a long and patient academic memory nobody appreciated until the audit showed up on their front doorstep.
The shit-disturbing superpower of 8/Saturn is the revelation of deeply ingrained systemic flaws. This vibration will make you think about who performed the labour, who carried the cost, who benefited and whether said arrangement can survive in the world now that you know. 8/Saturn may be the regulator, union organizer, elder, archivist or person who finally enforces boundaries.
Its shadow malarkey is managing behaviour through punishment, penalties, and deterrence. The 8/Saturn number force can weaponize anything it points its elegantly manicured finger at: rules, money, seniority, procedures. As a shit-disturber, withholding resources until everyone submits makes it positively giddy. This vibration can also shit-disturb as the defender of an unjust hierarchy simply because order feels safer than change.
9/Mars — The Final Straw
The 9/Mars vibration becomes a shit-disturber when all patience has expired. This vibration contains courage, anger, urgency and the willingness to take the conflict right to its source. Where other number vibrations might favour discussing a problem, 9/Mars draws a distinct line in the sand and then loudly triple-dog-dares someone to cross it.
The shit-disturbing superpower of 9/Mars is the sort of decisive confrontation that leads to a showdown. This vibration thrives wherever the vulnerable need defending, completing unfinished battles; bringing the sort of ending that everyone else would actively seek to avoid. It is a force that is 100% OK with becoming the villain if that is what it takes to bring something to an end.
Its shadow malarkey is scorched-earth righteousness. The 9/Mars number force loves to escalate things too quickly. It can mistake rage for clarity and utterly stomp all over what could have been repaired. Once activated, this vibration can become more committed to winning the fight than to the original cause.
11/Pluto — The Excavator
The 11/Pluto vibration does not shit-disturb the visible disagreement. Instead, it exposes the power struggle existing beneath it, underpinning everything. This vibration magnetizes things like coercion, obsession, secrecy, taboo, and manipulation. It identifies the hidden transaction nobody is supposed to name, no matter who is made uncomfortable or even disgraced by this.
Its shit-disturbing superpowers are revelation and transformation. Master 11 brings buried material up out of the swampy darkness, to the surface so completely that the old order cannot be restored. The 11 vibration exposes what people fear, who really holds power, and what it is that has been truly feeding the collective shadow. Do you know someone with 11s in their chart? Go hug them; they are not alright.
11/Pluto’s shadow malarkey is psychological warfare. Playing Olympic-level cat-and-mouse is their jam. This vibration may become fascinated with corruption, weaponize secrets or confidential information, provoke a crisis to force greater closeness, or believe that burning down someone’s defences is the same as healing them.
Unlike 2/Moon, which senses emotional tension, 11/Pluto pokes around in that tension, figuring out what created it, and who benefits from keeping it unresolved.
22/Uranus — The System Hacker
The 22/Uranus vibration does not merely criticize the system. It imagines the alternative in living, breathing technicolour and possesses enough shit-disturbing force to make it real. Master Builder 22 is not above rebellion, shocks, and forcing a collective awakening to create the landscape necessary for its ideas to manifest even if society isn’t fully ready for them.
Its shit-disturbing superpower is creating the paradigm shift that addresses the root cause of whatever is dogging the collective. The 22/Uranus vibration creates the new platforms, organizations, technologies or methods that render the old gatekeepers completely unnecessary. That can be far more dangerous than simply complaining about them: proving a system is obsolete can come with an explosive extinction burst.
The shadow malarkey of 22/Uranus is the obsession with radical, sudden, and flashy market changes that treats "disruptive innovation" as the golden calf in STEM. The victims are often steady execution and testing, empathy toward those who don’t wish to be moved forward at light speed, and common-sense (boring) approaches to solving problems. The 22/Uranus vibration can demolish perfectly good structures or systems because novelty feels inherently virtuous. It can also show up as imposing visionary schemes on unwilling people or becoming tyrannical about liberation. The nervous system of 22/Uranus may live permanently under lightning conditions.
Unlike 4/Rahu, which learns to exploit the existing system, 22/Uranus dismantles and then rebuilds the operating system altogether.
33/Neptune — The Dissolver of the Dream
The 33/Neptune vibration shit-disturbs at the level of collective feeling, spiritual ideals, compassion, imagination and myth. This vibration reveals the dreams, aspirations, and mythology a community uses to understand itself and the suffering hidden by those dreams.
Its shit-disturbing superpower is igniting the active process of shaking off dogmatic or outworn beliefs and traditions to seek a more meaningful connection to the universe. It dissolves boundaries, gives voice to those who are excluded or pushed to the margins, and makes it impossible to disguise cruelty as any sort of guiding principle. 33/Neptune can provoke artistic creation and genius, as well as movements and visions that alter what people believe is morally imaginable. It pushes you to imagine a whole new universe even if the thought of that can be scary.
The shadow malarkey of 33/Neptune are things like glamour, martyrdom and messianic confusion. The 33 vibration can generate a beautiful collective fantasy, casting itself as everyone’s saviour, treating boundaries as a failure of love. It can produce a profound spiritual awakening or a cult with excellent branding.
Unlike 6/Venus, which challenges the values governing a relationship or community, 33/Neptune dissolves the myths that made those values appear sacred and untouchable.